Is Romance Dead?
This one is for the ladies.
We recently visited my in-laws in the Pacific Northwest. The days were cold and nights colder. A welcome excuse to bundle up in wooly layers and rain boots, take brisk walks, drink copious amounts of tea, and — as one does — stay up late watching the first season of Downton Abbey. My first time watching it. My husband’s, too. We quickly became invested in the characters and picked up right where we left off when we got home.
It checks all the boxes one would want of a historical fiction/period drama. The lavish dress, sharp humor, deception, rivalry, postcard worthy landscapes, and, of course, the romance. What is it about this genre that absolutely engrosses us as women? Times certainly weren’t easier, yet something about it enthralls us. Watching historically portrayed men passionately pursuing their women. Men who would literally give their lives for love’s sake, is something our feminine and sappy hearts swoon over.
I read a Christian book many years ago titled Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge. In it, the author breaks down the most inner desires of the female heart, in the perspective of God’s creation. One of those desires, simply put, is to be romanced. Women are born with a deep longing to be pursued, cherished, and desired. This desire is not solely for a human relationship, but reflects a yearning to be loved passionately and intimately by the Creator himself.
It’s no wonder we grow up clinging to the fantasies of our childhood. These romantic period pieces are like our modern day princess movies and fairy tales. The strong female lead gets swept up in a grand adventure with someone who adores and cherishes her. We may not want to admit it, but we all want this epic kind of romance. To live in a period drama for a day, to languish in sunrooms overlooking verdant gardens, be served tea on silver trays, to slow dance barefoot on stone castle floors, to read hand written letters from a pining lover by the light of the moon.
We’ve traded moonlight for the glow of screens, and aimless wandering for productivity. When was the last time you just sat and did nothing but just be? We stand in line at the grocery store looking down at our phones. We check social media during commercial breaks. We bring our phones into the bathroom with us. We take 20 photos of a single thing instead of simply enjoying it as is. I am no exception. It seems we have squeezed all opportunities for romance out of our modern lives.
Where would romance begin if not in moments left unfettered?
I wish I was better at this, leaving room for romance in my life. I am one that craves routine, orderliness, and predictability. I often think ahead to prepare for what could happen. I like being in control, plain and simple.
My trusty daily devotional book, Jesus Calling, describes God’s romance as a tender, intimate, and ever-present love. Like any relationship, we are active participants, but we must be open and willing to receive on God’s terms, not our own. He asks us to be attentive to Him, instead of attempting to program our lives according to our own will. This is my reminder, and perhaps yours, too, to resist the tendency to search for the easiest route throughout our days, and instead, be willing to follow wherever He leads.
Profound, everlasting affection with a God who desires close friendship with us and who offers us deeper intimacy through scripture, faith, and a shared life with Him. How lucky we are to have a Creator who etched this desire on our hearts, so that we may know the purest kind of romance.
A few weeks ago, it was nearing the end of an already long day. I was tired, the ache in my lower back humming. I felt at the end of my proverbial rope. My husband sensed it, and offered to take our son so I could take a bath. That was enough for me to let out a deep exhale. He then proceeds to bake me a cookie, puts the kettle on for tea, and offers to rub my feet while we watch Downton Abbey. My eyes well up despite myself.
I am happy to report, romance is not dead.